Like many people, I travelled a long and bumpy road to A Course in Miracles, a spiritual path I began in earnest in 1997. In hindsight, I can see how diligently and quietly the Holy Spirit worked to help me remove several “obstacles” standing between me and what I recognized at once as my “True Path.”
I began this life as a Catholic, but only until my parents abandoned their faith — the year before I was to receive the Holy Sacrament of “Confirmation.”
In high school, I became a “Jesus Freak,” but soon gave up my Christian “clique” when my new friends forbade me to hang out with “worldly” people. Thereafter, I explored many alternate paths before eventually returning to Catholicism in my mid-twenties. Unable to accept some of the key doctrinal tenets, I walked away.
For the next several years, I dabbled in the occult. Having no real spiritual foundation, I grew increasingly depressed and even contemplated suicide. Rather than act on this destructive impulse, I contacted a psychologist. At our first session, he asked, “Do you have a philosophy of life?”
“Not really,” I replied. “As far as I can tell, life is meaningless and random.” I proceeded to share my cynical theory that human beings were the accidental offspring of horny aliens and apes. While I didn’t really believe this, I had no better explanation to offer.
He listened patiently before asking with a concerned smile, “Do you find that philosophy useful?”
When I answered that I didn’t, he advised me to work on developing a more heartening spiritual belief system.
Thereafter, I explored several paths, none of which felt right. Fast forward to my mid-thirties. While taking an astrology class at a New Age bookstore in Pasadena, Calif., I noticed — and was drawn to — A Course in Miracles. Thumbing through its pages, I saw the Christian language within and — turned off by it — returned the book to the shelf.
A few months later, I was awakened one Sunday by a powerful inner prompt directing me to get out of bed and go to Mass at the local Catholic Church. I did as instructed and strongly felt the Holy Spirit’s presence at the service. I continued going to weekly Mass and, a few months later, I signed up for an adult confirmation class. At the start of the first session, the facilitator led the class through a guided meditation.
“Imagine yourself walking on a beach,” she began. “Now imagine that Jesus appears and walks with you. What do you say to him? What does he say to you?”
Normally, I don’t have much luck with visual meditations. This time, however, I DID see Jesus walking with me on the beach. I spoke to him from my heart about my doubts. In response, he said, “Faith is a choice.” Then, he asked, “What do you gain by NOT believing in me?”
The next moment, I saw myself at a crossroads. The road to the left was a continuation of the one I’d been on, which had only made me increasingly unhappy. The road to the right disappeared over the distant horizon. I couldn’t see where it went, but I KNEW it would take me to a better place. As I chose the RIGHT road, I also chose to believe in Jesus.
Not long thereafter, my boss came into my office one morning with a book. “I was in a bookstore last night,” he said, setting the book on my desk, “and got the strangest feeling I needed to buy this for you.” The book was Deepak Chopra’s The Path to Love. That night, I read it cover to cover.
The next morning, Don (my boss) came into my office again. This time, he set the transcript of a radio interview with Marianne Williamson on my desk. Not surprisingly, most of it was about A Course in Miracles. Her descriptions spoke to me, so at lunch, I went out and bought the big blue book. That night, as I read the Text and started the first Workbook lesson, I knew I’d found my True Path.
This happened in April 1997. I know because, for some reason, I dated some of the Workbook Lessons. On the evening of April 17, an inner-voice spoke to me very distinctly. A month or so before, I’d started an intense relationship with someone with severe emotional problems. When he ended the relationship as abruptly as he’d initiated it, I was devastated. While lying in bed agonizing over what to do, a still, small voice said (inside my mind), “You’re asking the wrong question. The right question is: ‘What have I lost if I choose love?’”
You’re asking the wrong question. The right question is: “What have I lost if I choose love?”
The question sparked an epiphany. In that moment, I understood, for the first time in my life, that we experience love not by GETTING it from someone else, but by GIVING it without reservation. If I continued to love this man, whatever form the relationship might take, I had, in fact, lost nothing.
When I look back on these experiences, I can see (and hope you will too) how carefully and actively the Holy Spirit guided me to the Course. I also recognize how He helped me surmount two major obstacles to “choosing right.” Not my horny alien theory, but my rejection of organized Christianity and, with it, Jesus as my “savior.” Like many “recovering” Catholics, I had thrown out the baby with the bathwater. To reclaim the baby (Jesus), I also had to forgive the bathwater (Catholicism).
The Holy Meeting Place 